Author's Note: This is a stream of consciousness journal entry. I just thought of an image dealing with snow and I guess this is what my subconscious self want to tell my conscious one.
Snow, I see it falling endlessly day after day, driving me blind with white. Although so bright and giving I am trapped in darkness and despair waiting for the sad lonesome creature that is starvation to set in. As I lay motionless in the snow I see movement on the horizon, I muster all of the strength I have left in my body and chase it. Then as I finally catch up with it I talk to the musher and we sit for a drink of melted snow. We have a fine time then as he packs up I ask to come with and I get shunned, for he is just a figment of my imagination so gracefully passing me by. So with all the hope that has come with the day it ends as it started in despair and hopelessness, with me laying on the ground, starving, with snow. That is the way it has always been, is now, and will always be.
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That's really good. I could tell right away it was a tragedy.
ReplyDeleteaww sam this is really good! i like how you use big words (lol) and i can cleary tell its a tragedy.
ReplyDeleteum... guys this is an irony. Hense the title "My irony journal entry". This was really good though. I like the figment of imagination part. My suggestion was maybe clear some things up a little bit because sometimes I had to reread the line. This was really good though.
ReplyDeleteThat was cool! Very descriptive and well written. I like how you turned snow, a tragedy symbol, into something ironic.
ReplyDeleteWOW! That was creepy. I liked how in the middle it made you think everything was going to be okay. But then BOOM! "That is the way it has always been is now and will always be." The end comes and you are in great shock. The descriptive and sophisticated words also helped greatly with this.
ReplyDeleteAmazing use of vocabulary, Sam! And what a cool thing to write about! I like it! It's kind of a sad story, and I liked the part where he found out it was just his imagination, because you added that little bit of hope and then took it away as soon as it was there! Excelent example of an irony piece!
ReplyDeleteHaha Sammy and Sophia- quite funny. Sam, great vocab and use of repition like:,driving me blind with white.Although so bright........and alot was said about snow. I do think that maybe you need to clear some things up a bit, or it was very complexly written.
ReplyDeleteThis is really good but creepy! I like how he's insane! That last sentence was a little confusing to me but maybe I read it wrong.
ReplyDeleteIt is an irony Sammy and Sophia. Good job with the vocabulary. I really felt depressed(in a good way) when I read it.
ReplyDeleteSam! This a really good piece. I agree with Ryan and Abby about just rewriting a few spots to make it more understandable; this way, the story would have more effect on people instead of making them a little bit confused. Good job, I liked how the only hope turned out to be untrue. Cool idea Sam!
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